Monthly Archives: December 2012

Obligatory Christmas Poem


Just thought I’d write a message to say
I hope you have a great Christmas day
With presents you actually asked for
And not ones that you’ll have to take back after
With Christmas stocking pilled up with crap
And enough sweets and food to keep us all fat
With friends and family gathered around
Giving gifts, drinking booze to see who hits ground
All of these things that I’ve only just said
Making me feel like I should be in bed
So merry Christmas to all who need or want to hear it
I hope you at least get a glimmer of that old Christmas spirit

I wrote this on the spur of the moment on Christmas Day 2007, thought I’d share the sentiment 😉
Happy holidays!


Lights Out


Arrived home after work this evening to discover that the house had no electricity, neither did the surrounding houses or street lights. Outside I could see the flashing lights from an electrical maintenance van, so I went to investigate. The bloke told me what had happened but my limited knowledge of the workings of a towns power grid meant that all I understood was, “we made a mess a few hours ago, it’ll be sorted in the next half hour or so.” I sat in the dark with a few candles that I keep around for emergencies, writing my Christmas cards which, generally speaking, I normally finish and post by the first, however with this year being the steaming pile of banthar doo-doo that it it is, I’ve been somewhat preoccupied. About half an hour after I’d finished all of my Christmas cards, the lights came back on and I set up my computer to watch a few bits and check my emails.
Less than five minutes later the power had disappeared again. I would have been more annoyed were it not for the humorous noises coming from the bathroom as the electric shower lost power and the lights went out. Another twenty or so minutes later life returned, this time I waited a bit before re-setting my alarm clock and turning on the computer, that poor thing has enough problems as it is without suddenly loosing power twice in one night.
It is now five (or so) hours later and I’m just going to bed, not without being over anxious about the fact that the van and men are still out there, working away. I always set the alarm on my phone as insurance that I eventually get up in the mornings, however tonight it’ll be back up in case the power goes out and the wonders that are my memory-less digital clock, resets itself and cancels may alarm, not to mention un-tuning my radio preferences.

Once Upon a Rainy Day


Once upon a time, in a kingdom far, far away, there lived a dragon.

He was a very lonely dragon, all of the villagers were scared of him and got angry because any time he tried to talk to them his fiery breath would burn their crops and destroy their homes.

To make matters worse, he had a rather nasty habit of taking their gold and hoarding it up in his cave so that they couldn’t use it to buy new seeds for crops and materials to rebuild their houses.

The dragon wanted to apologize, but every time he opened his mouth, flames would spout out which it only made the villagers angrier.

It was a cold, wet day when an elderly man hobbled through what remained of the village. “What on earth has happened here?” he asked a young farmer who was passing by. “It’s that terrible dragon who lives in a cage,” the young man replied, “he burns our village and steals our gold!”

The old man stroked his beard thoughtfully, “oh dear, that does sound awful. I’d better go and hear what the dragon has to say about this.”

The dragon saw the old man coming and, excited about meeting a new person, came charging out of his cave to great him, flames flying out of his mouth, the ground trembling as his feet stomped along the ground.

The old man was not easily frightened, and strode forward to meet the dragon. He took the twisted old tree branch that he was using as a walking stick and raised it, casting a barrier spell so that the flames didn’t touch him.

The dragon stopped in his tracks, so astounded was he that there was someone that he could finally talk to that he became speechless.

From within his pack, the old man drew out a golden necklace, covered in jewels. The dragon’s eyes grew large with greed, but still he said nothing. The old man said a few quiet words of magic over the amulet and proceeded to place it around the dragon’s neck.

The magic worked very quickly, and the dragon found that he could speak without even singeing a single hair on the old man and so pleased he was with the beautiful golden amulet that he returned of the gold belonging to the villagers.

The villagers were so pleased that they held a banquet to thank the old man and to finally accept the dragon into the village. The dragon wanted to thank the old man, but he could not find him.

The old man had quietly slipped away, off to help another village with another dragon, but the villagers always remembered him, and held a banquet ever year in his honour, with the dragon roasting the main meal for them all to share.

Just in case you were wondering, this is perhaps not my most in depth, creative story ever, it was a story a six year old girl asked me to start writing when were stuck inside because of the rain.